The primary task of a good transformational retreat, is not to answer your questions,
but to question your answers
This retreat may not be for you if:
• You are expecting therapeutic processing with others
• You are in acute crisis. Come back when the ground is steadier.
• You would rather be right about your story than question it.
Here we write a thought down and ask four questions of it.
Feelings will come, and they are welcome. They move through the inquiry.
Not sure which side you are on? Book a call. I would rather say "not this time" kindly than watch you spend four days in the wrong room.
What the four days hold
The practice is simple. You write down a thought that hurts.
She should have lived longer. I wasted my career. I'm too old to start over.
Then we ask it four questions.
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without it?
Last, you turn the thought around and look for what is equally true, or truer.
No guru, no philosophy to memorize, no religion required.
Your own answers do the waking up.
A retreat in The Work is new every time. The people in the room, the weather, the news of the world all shape it.
Over four days we will meet the beliefs that hurt most, which may include:
• a parent's death, or a parent who is still living and still hard to love
• regret, and the advice you wish you had given or taken
• your body: aging, health, pain, appearance
• work, retirement, money, and what counts as enough
• relationships, friendship, betrayal, the family you came from
• fear of what comes next, including what you believe about death
Saturday, in the body
The retreat falls across Halloween, Samhain and Día de los Muertos, when many traditions say the veil is thin.
On Saturday morning we leave the room and join a freeform dance in Seattle, led by my husband and me, with a Día de los Muertos altar which will honor what we're grieving.
It's OK to bring a photo of someone you love who has died: a parent, an ancestor, a beloved, a pet.
You do not need to be a dancer. The body gets its say, and your turnarounds land below the neck. Every activity is voluntary.
The schedule:
We begin on time, so plan to arrive about fifteen minutes early. The long midday breaks are on purpose. Walk, rest, eat alone or with others.
What to expect
• You will probably cry. That is welcome. It moves through the inquiry.
• You do not need experience. Never done The Work? Nobody here is behind.
• Ten people at most. Small enough that everyone is seen.
• Meals are on your own. Lake Forest Park Town Center is a short walk, with restaurants, takeout and a grocery store.
Bring your own lunch if you like; there is a refrigerator in the main house.
• The retreat is for most people non-residential. You will want a room nearby. Please write Grace to ask for airbnb links that look good. The Lodge at Saint Edwards State Park is a 12 minute drive away (people have stayed there before even without a car and taken uber daily)
• Bring a photo or trinket of someone who has died or a photo or piece of art or artifact that represents honoring what is for you, a notebook and pen, and clothes you can move in.
• Confidential. What others share stays in the room.
Tuition
$875 for about 28 hours together, roughly $31 an hour, with ten people at most. The Saturday morning dance movement event/ceremony is included in your tuition. Meals and food are not included. Fly to Seattle Seatac airport, or to Everett Paine Field (both are about the same distance from our location).
The one onsite lodging spot ($1,175 with tuition) is booked. To join the waitlist, write grace@workwithgrace.com.
Why I hold this retreat
When my first marriage ended, I tried a great deal. I tore up telephone books in a therapist's office. I beat cushions with a tennis racket. I screamed into a pillow, told my story, tried not to think about it.
Then I began questioning what I believed: he abandoned me, I've failed, I'm lost in this new life.
I went looking at what I had lost and kept turning up what I had found. Free time to hike, read, dance. New friends. A trust in life I had not known before.
The questions did what the pillow could not.
"The small group, made up of mostly strangers, became deeply connected in a very short time. Grace created a safe and supportive environment that felt sacred."
"I think Grace has an amazing, loving heart and I can feel how much she loves people and makes it really safe. It's not clinical."
"I miss my new friends! ... there was a healing power inside our shared experience."
"It's remarkable that even though my mother has been dead for 26 years, I have been able to sink deeply into questioning my beliefs about how her death went, and my beliefs about our relationship, and find a whole new beautiful relationship with her. I can hardly believe it. It has changed my relationship with people in general."
First time on retreat with me? Book a 15-minute call. We talk, you ask your questions, and we decide together whether this is the right room. Then I will send you the link to register.
Been on retreat with me before? Book your spot.
There is a seat at this table for you.
I have never done The Work. Will I be lost? No. You learn it by doing it, one thought at a time, with help in the room. People new to The Work and people with years of practice sit together here and both do well.
What if I cry, or fall apart? Crying is welcome. It moves through the inquiry, and I will help you stay with the questions. If you need to work through feelings out loud with the group as witness, therapy is the better room. A call will tell us both.
Is this therapy? No. It is a retreat for self-inquiry: finding the beliefs that hurt and questioning them. It is educational and does not replace medical or psychological treatment. If you have a therapist, many people bring this alongside that work.
My loss was not a death. Is it grief enough? A divorce, a friendship, a career, your health, the children leaving home, the person you used to be: all belong here. If your mind is arguing with what happened, you are welcome.
My loss is recent and raw. Should I come? Possibly, and possibly not yet. Book a call. If we decide a later retreat would serve you better, I will say so plainly.
Is this religious? No religion is required, and no belief is asked of you. People come from every faith and none. The altar is an invitation to honor someone you love.
Do I have to share? Do I have to dance? Every activity is voluntary. You choose what to share. What others say stays in the room.
Are the days long? Thursday, Friday and Saturday run 11 to 12 hours door to door, with a two-and-a-half-hour lunch and a ninety-minute dinner. Sunday ends at noon. See the schedule above.
Where do I eat? Where do I stay? Meals are on your own, with plenty nearby on foot. The retreat is non-residential. The onsite spot is booked; write grace@workwithgrace.com for the waitlist.
What should I bring? A photo of someone who has died, a notebook and pen, and clothes you can move in.
What does tuition cover, and what is the price per hour? Tuition is $875 for about 28 hours with ten people at most, about $31 an hour. Saturday dance/movement event is included in your retreat tuition. Meals and lodging are yours to arrange.
Why do I need a call first? Because the room is small, and what happens in it depends on everyone in it. The call is fifteen minutes, and your chance to ask anything.
What is the cancellation policy? Your payment is fully refundable if you cancel 30 or more days before the retreat starts. For this retreat, that date was September 29. If you cancel at least 14 days ahead, by October 15, your payment can transfer to a future event within six months. After that there is no refund or transfer. In extreme circumstances, write to me and we will talk.
What if I am asked to leave? No refund is given if a participant is asked to leave.
Can I record the sessions? No. Retreat materials belong to Grace Bell and Byron Katie and may not be recorded or shared without written permission.