We change the world not by what we say or do, but as a consequence of what we have become.” ~ Dr. David R. Hawkins
Happiness is a clear mind. A clear and sane mind knows how to live, how to work, what emails to send, what phone calls to make, and what to do to create what it wants without fear....
....These four questions will join any program you've got and enhance it. Any religion you have, they'll enhance it. If you have no religion, they will bring you joy. And they'll burn up anything that isn't true for you. They'll burn through to the reality that has always been waiting.
~ Byron Katie
How To Judge Your Neighbor
Month One starts with orientation so you understand the process, the technology, all the ways we get connected, and what to expect. We'll meet Sept 13 at 9am PT, Setp 14 at Noon PT, and Sept 15 at 5pm PT to orient! You pick one of these dates.
We then begin with the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet. Even if you are super experienced in The Work, we will slow down and spend time with our stressful thinking, weeding out the deepest roots of our thoughts so we land on underlying beliefs.
Together, we will spend time identifying concepts we tend to repeat and believe. Then, we’ll move into inquiry. We're questioning the belief "my judgments are terrible" in this step. We get to see how what is believed is not true for us.
We start our early work together with simply noticing who, what, when we are bothered. You’ll know where to begin. You’ll be guided through the worksheet to find your stressful beliefs. We’ll do The Work.
Anyone in Year of Inquiry can focus on the topic of the month, or move into their own Earth School topic (you know what you're needing to study--the stress is the signal).
Our Family of Origin and Facilitation 101: Partnering in The Work
People who have influenced us greatly are often very important for The Work. We’ll move into the Closest People We Encountered in Our Lives – Mother, Father, Aunt, Uncle, Grandpa, Grandma, Siblings, Others. These are perhaps our oldest memories, from childhood. The people who we were presented with in our life journey at the very beginning passed along many beliefs and ideas. We were immersed in the culture, the words, the pictures, the sounds of our environment and these important people, or their absence.
We will include what we learned, saw, took in and “bought” with these people. We will consider how we felt and include all our ideas and judgments on our worksheets.
Is your belief "they hurt me"? Do you think one or all of these people should have been different, or should be now? Would life be better if they had been better?
Special attention will be given to facilitating, and questions about partnering in The Work. This will continue all year.
Shame and Guilt: Judgments and Complaints against ourselves
In our present day-to-day lives, we might notice very repetitive thoughts of complaining about not enough time, energy, or happiness with ourselves.
These thoughts about what we’re doing or how we’re living can whittle away at our psyche or our happiness, internally causing stressful reactions and frustration or sadness.
Simple looking at them head-on, all the moments we wish would be slightly different (better, simpler, more, less, etc). We get to find out who we would be without the thought that something ABOUT ME needs to change in order for me to be happy, who we would be if we did not need any more of something, or any less.
Our self-judgments and complaints are hard to live with. But there’s a way to work with them….turn towards them, and see them directly.
Anger, Fear, Hurt
What has scared me in my life? Whether long ago, or more recently, we get to look through memories where fear or anger was present, and look closely. The way we find out what we believe about the universe, or reality, or our lives….is to see the middle of the moments of resentment, anger or fear. These are the compass feelings that tell us where and how to look.
The moment many of us need more money, whether it's now or in the past, or in the imagined future….we feel stress. Our minds may think with panic about how to get it, keep it and hold on to it.
What's under the money story? Do we believe we need outside support? Is money outside of us? Who are we without or stress about survival, being supported, needing?
If we have enough money, or more than enough, the moment we think we should be doing something “good” for our community when we are not, we feel a twinge of guilt or great discontent. We might feel like people only like us because we have money, or maybe we feel sad because they are jealous.
Many of us have visions of those ultra-wealthy people, or poverty-stricken people, and feel anxious with the pictures in our minds of people in these conditions. We might think “I’ll never get there” or “I hope I never get there”.
Money is so closely tied in with our work and livelihood, what we do in the world, that often we feel that we “have to” work or that we’re trapped by the system of using money.
From this point of needing or wanting to offer service, earn money, or experience happiness in our work…studying our internal thinking with open-heartedness can offer great peace in this process of work, money, earning, and whatever we think is a problem.
Relationships – Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Friends, Partners, Sexual Relationships
Byron Katie wrote an entire book devoted to the urge to “get” love from someone else in the world, other than ourselves; “I Need Your Love, Is It True?”
This month we return to this book for a re-read if you already have it, and if this is your first time, you’re in for a treat.
We focus on the situations we find most stressful and painful when it comes to relationships, and especially primary love relationships (but you may choose your focus). This month is about ANY relationships we've found troubling.
This is a time when you can really look at what you believe is true about how relationships should go, what you want, and what you expect. You will have the opportunity to look at whatever has brought out the most disappointment, sadness, anger, fear or unhappiness in your life when it comes to love. If an important family member is the focus of your stress...this is the time to dive deeply into whatever relationship appears to ail you.
My Body – Flaws, Disease, Sickness, Accidents, Trauma, Pain
Bodies are the focus of such immediate, quick, very agonizing stress that it’s almost hard to catch all the thoughts about bodies and their difficulties on paper. But as we take the time, we will find out what we’re thinking and believing that is most fearful.
What disease, injury, chronic pain, accident or trauma have you suffered from, even after it was over?
This will be an amazing time to return to your fears, frustrations and unhappiness when it comes to having a body. We will have the chance to identify even those beliefs we feel critical of believing, like “my thighs are too fat” or “my face is too wrinkled”. The freedom in questioning these types of thoughts, and taking them seriously instead of brushing them away or criticizing ourselves for having them, can be incredible.
Living Our Turnarounds
Many of us take programs to develop our lives, focusing on what we’d like to “have” like success in business, success in relationships, success in so many areas of life. There is a way to explore desire, wanting, seeking and needing, and inquire into the deepest beliefs present.
To "live" your turnarounds is one of the most profoundly transformative practices of The Work itself, bringing this deep awareness into the body rather than holding it only in the head or in thought.
We'll explore some beautiful ways to live The Work based on your own discoveries, and how to practice and make change in your world through action. Action actually becomes easy, quick, clear and productive when we've questioned the blocks in our thinking that keep us afraid, uncertain, or indecisive.
Back to Basics: Studying the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet in depth with beginner's mind
As we begin to review our work this year, we can also take the time to look at what we fear in the future. Our anticipated worries lead us to hesitate, withdraw, and not meet life fully.
We spend time looking this month at the profound question "what's the worst that could happen?" in a way that brings us to seeing our nightmares clearly, so that we can enter inquiry at such a deep level, our nightmares do indeed dissolve.
With this amazing question, we can actually begin to laugh at our greatest fears, and lighten the load of our imagination in ways we never thought possible. People in Year of Inquiry have said about this month's topic that they had no idea they held such depth of worry within...and no idea they could delete their suffering with four simple questions and turnarounds.
The Turnarounds to #6…I am Willing, I Look Forward to Whatever Happens
In a safe, open setting we've become aware through our practice of The Work that we can feel freedom by questioning the thoughts that form a foundation of many of our stressful situations.
We look at the subjects and topics of our work this year, and take a slower and more in-depth look at what we've identified that we never, ever want to experience in our lives again.
Some of these most fearsome thoughts are beliefs about ourselves and what we've done wrong. Some of these fearsome thoughts are about loss, and what we believe we can't handle.
In this work, it may seem odd to actually turn the spotlight on what we would prefer to brace ourselves against, what we hope NEVER happens, what we wish would remain hidden.
But the love we build together this year…in great intimacy and trust…can offer a safe, clear, committed place of awareness. We find this as we sink into understanding that what we've imagined we never, ever want to occur...could be tolerable, or even acceptable, even something we look forward to. Laughter may unfold, or surprise.
“We change the world not by what we say or do, but as a consequence of what we have become.” ~ Dr. David R. Hawkins
Join me in this incredible year of questioning your stories. We’ll all be explorers together. Let's Be the Change.
When we meet, what's included + FAQs:
Kelly Stubbs, Certified Facilitator of The Work and Facilitator of YOI Wednesdays at Noon PDT/ 3pm EDT/ 9pm Europe. Kelly is gentle and patient in The Work, and a true heart of service.
Grace Bell, Founder of Year Of Inquiry, facilitates Tues 9am PDT & Thurs 4pm PDT (plus First Friday of the month inquiry sessions open to anyone and everyone, even those outside of YOI).
WHEN WE MEET
LIVE GROUP INQUIRY SESSIONS (ZOOM) SEPT 11, 2023 - JUNE 21, 2024. We have one week "off" during each month from normal calls when we do topic workshop, Q&A call, and schedule our solo sessions or partner work.
Wednesday Session with Certified Facilitator Kelly: Noon PT/ 3pm Eastern Time/ 8pm UK/ 9pm Europe
Thursday Session: 4pm Pacific Time/ 7pm Eastern Time/ 8am Japan (Fridays)/ 9am Sydney (Fridays)
Attend one or all live, or watch the recordings
PRIVATE SECURE ONLINE FORUM YOU CAN PUT ON YOUR PHONE (FREE APP) Slack (our private forum) is always our online meeting spot for schedule, recordings and written sharing.
PARTNERING IN THE WORK (OPTIONAL EACH MONTH)
Schedule between YOU and YOUR PARTNER. If you choose to partner with others for deep practice in self-inquiry and facilitation, you will meet with a partner for one month. You are encouraged to set up 4 sessions in The Work together, working through the stressful thinking arising for you in your life. This is HIGHLY ENCOURAGED but not required. You are welcome to opt in or out of each month depending on your schedule. Grace assigns new partners each month for those actively partnering.
MARCO POLO PRIVATE VIDEO CHAT GROUP
All during the year, we have a group chat going that allows time for true connection, sharing, honesty, and doing The Work out loud with each other, talking stick style. Exercises or questions will be offered to keep your work and practice vibrant and alive. Optional to participate, but we hope you do.
RETREATS: OH SO FUN--SIGN UP SEPARATELY TO IMMERSE YOURSELF IN DAILY RETREAT
It's a joy to see how many people in YOI also attend retreats: a magnificent way to connect deeply with your tribe and make true connections. Sign up for retreats separately and if you need it, special consideration will be offered financially for those in YOI--please ask if you need help.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
Q: When are the live sessions for Year of Inquiry? What else is included?
A: The live group sessions for 2023-2024 meet 3 times each week, with one week where we don't, every month, to do topic workshop, Q&A session about The Work, and one-on-one partnering work to happen. Choose one session to come to solidly, and you're welcome to attend them all. Also included in YOI is a private writing/gathering place online, a special topic every month, and parter pairing with one other person in the group every month (optional).
A: No. You'll learn The Work by doing it. But it really, really helps to read Loving What Is and to understand the idea of what it means to identify a belief or concept, question it, and find a new way of thinking about something--without all the "trying" to find a new way of thinking about something. This will really, deeply challenge the mind. It will not be comfortable--but its the safest way to look at what we're believing that I've ever encountered. No one tells you what to think. Four questions, Your answers and turnarounds.
Q: What if I'm shy in a group?
A: I've never been around such kind, open-minded people as those willing and interested in practicing The Work. We have group agreements from the beginning to establish clarity around privacy and emotional safety. If you're shy, welcome to The Work in community. Perfect place to do your work and discover unconditional connection with other humans.
Q: What if I start not liking someone in the group, or someone I'm paired with?
A: Congratulations, you're in a perfect program to truly get your work done. Yay that someone bugs you in the group. I mean it. Once very early in the first few years of YOI, a person left Year of Inquiry because they didn't like the partner they were assigned (you get a new partner every month). Have you left things because of a challenge with one person? Jobs? Organizations? Places you cared about? Mother? Father? Consider staying if you notice irritation, anger, rage, sadness, fear, the urge to rescue or help, pity, or judgment arise with someone else. That's the gold. They may remind you of someone. (And, it doesn't mean you can't ask to have another partner--go for it. I'll re-assign you as best I can).
Q: What if I am not a good facilitator for the partner pairing work?
A: Question your thoughts about why or how you came to believe this. It may be the end of suffering on the "good enough" thought. You can ask anything on a live call about facilitating. Sometimes, this aspect of The Work really touches on life with others in open communication, and learning I don't have to "do" anything special at all. Nothing is required. Simply listening, being honest.
Q: Do we only do The Work on live calls?
A: These calls are primarily built for a meditation in inquiry. Beginning with a concept and walking through it, everyone getting to share in chat or with their voices, or one person does The Work. Any way we organically arrive at inquiry works. People often bring a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet and can read it out loud. There is ALWAYS sharing time at the beginning for questions about The Work, and how The Work is running in your life. There is time for reflecting on changes and shifts you're noticing as the weeks go by.
Q: What if I have to end my participation part way through the year unexpectedly?
A: While we're asking you to sign up for the year, just like other programs that run Sept-June, things sure do happen. What is requested is four months participation before withdrawing. Then, if you need to leave, off you go to fly onward. No "have to". You'd receive a partial refund or have your monthly investment canceled at that point, no questions asked. We do spend a lot of time getting everyone on board and building a cohesive group, so give YOI four months to simmer in you, and if you need to go, no questions asked. Whether on the month-to-month plan or you pay in full, we request you remain on board for 4 months.
Q: How much?
A: YOI is a sliding scale range if you choose month-to-month $147-$197, or pay-in-full for the whole 10-month membership $1395-$1895, OR, monthly-including-solo-sessions $247-$297/month. Your membership can be cancelled at any time after four months, with a partial refund for those who have paid in full based on the remaining portion of the year you are not participating.
Q: Do you offer scholarships?
A: No full scholarships for this one--there is so much time, technology, cost, attention and organization behind the scenes for this whole-year program. However we DO have the option of a partial scholarship. Write to email@example.com and ask for the scholarship application link. There has also been a Scholarship Help Donation Bucket which people have contributed to in the past. Two other people objectively read the scholarship requests and Grace then takes their informed suggestions to honestly consider. Everyone interested in scholarship help will know by Sept. 20, 2023.
Q: What's the difference between Year of Inquiry and Eating Peace Experience?
A: Eating Peace Experience Immersion program is very specifically focused on people with eating issues who feel uncomfortable, frustrated or totally out of control. The "eating" compulsion has become a habit and pattern of reactivity. Binge-eating, bulimia, dieting, starvation, weight up and down, over-eating at meals. Any patterns of eating that are creating more suffering.
Eating Peace Experience program runs for 3 months. It's very high touch and immersive. Similarities between EPE and YOI are live calls and partner pairing and sharing in a written forum. My intention is to support people ending their off-balance eating permanently. A big intention. But I have experienced this myself and I want to share the freedom with others and am ever-learning how to do it best. The investment for EPE is for a shorter, intense impact.
Year of Inquiry addresses many human topics we tend to get disturbed about, and while we do look at our conditioned habitual behavior (spending, eating, drinking) and our reactive thoughts we're believing, we concentrate on stressful thinking about events, situations, people, the body and money. Both aspects of life are very important. If you can't stop the addictive/compulsive behavior you remain very foggy. Many off-balance eaters start one year with Eating Peace Experience, then join Year of Inquiry the following year.
Year of Inquiry allows the curriculum of Your Life to be the teacher. Your mind can learn to take the role it really wants to take: a peaceful place, not a torture chamber or a critical companion.
Q: Can I do Year of Inquiry and Eating Peace Experience at the same time?
A: No. However, it is possible to be in EPIC (Eating Peace Inquiry Circle) and YOI at the same time, or, to take Eating Peace Basics or the Mini-Workshop along with YOI, but we recommend you not "binge" on it all at once and it really is too much to take Eating Peace Experience at the same time as Year of Inquiry.