ONLINE RETREAT with Tom C and Grace B: Loving What Is Retreat

November 28-December 4, 2023

Watch conversation with Grace & Tom about The Work: Part 1
Register Now

Loving What Is sounds profound, and deeply kind. And yet...there is so much that appears to not fall into the category of "love"....

War, disappointment, grief, social anxiety, conflict between spouses, parents and children arguing, young adult children failing to succeed, depression, bickering, thoughts about the self that attack our own behaviors, disgust with our bodies, our choices. Even petty complaints enter our experience (and we may feel guilty about how superficial these complaints are): they never clean up their dishes, I hate paying taxes, my neighbors shouldn't smoke on their deck.

Our minds and thoughts say "this is not love". We feel we are not loving what is. This can't be love. This situation simply is not good, supportive, kind or easy. It's too hard. It's too shocking. It's too sad. We might even say that if we love what is, we'll have to endure suffering forever. We believe we HAVE to hate or be against what is. We're irritated. We're angry. We're afraid. We're disappointed.

Who are you really, without your troubling thoughts about What Is? Could it be that your own thoughts are not *wrong* and yet, there is more to you than your thinking?

Could it be possible that this search for love in the world, and all the people and situations that aren't quite right or don't look like love....can relax, dissolve, and fade an instant?

Could love be powerful, not passive?

Yes. (Or, as Tom would say in Portuguese, Sim).

Loving what is does not mean becoming resigned with what is, accepting what is with disappointment, giving up, ignoring what is, trying hard to think about other things that DO seem loving, changing yourself, changing the world, fighting what is, fixing what is. Loving what is does not mean settling for what is.

How is this love revealed? We open to questioning how we're seeing What Is. We do this with four questions, and finding turnarounds.

"Until I love what is, there's a good reason to cut my throat, because I lose. I don't have control, and that was my game. My life was 'I want control and I'm going to have it.' So, 'What is, is' can seem pretty depressing. But I'm a lover of what is. And that takes it to a whole other level....You are only love. We've been out--we're coming back. It's a wonderful trip." ~ Byron Katie

As we question our thoughts, paradigms, our interpretations of life, our conclusions about what is or what was....loving what is becomes like a brilliant burning fire of joy of being human. Human is who you are, what you are.

You are love already. Doing The Work allows it to be revealed, like a cloud-cover disappearing from joy.

Let's retreat together online. No traveling or extra expenses.

We start with the surprising place of whatever we perceive as Not Love. Insecurity, terror, heart-break, rage.

Then, with the power of four questions and the experience of two facilitators who have practiced and returned to The Work over and over and over again, without having planned that for their lives, we will dive in and question the thinking that creates worlds of sorrow, and open to what comes.

We meet daily for this home retreat with exercises to drop into the internal world that produces stressful perceptions of life, relationships, conditions.

We'll move through powerful offerings, with time available for those attending to ask questions, do The Work, and deeply sit with inquiry in the container of retreat--where the community and experience of facilitators can hold you in the discovery of who you are without believing in the lack of love.

Tom and Grace bring many years of experience to this work; Tom since the late 1990s, Grace since 2004. Their combined experience brings different flavor to the process, in a trusting spirit of unconditional love for each and every participant.

Let the adventure begin. Simple enough to follow and remember, complex enough to handle any situation you've ever encountered that's resulted in suffering.

No experience in The Work is necessary, and many with experience will come.

The Work of Byron Katie is a deepening practice of open, loving curiosity for each person--no matter where you are--of finding a view for seeing the world through your own kind eyes. The discovery of the end of suffering.

Everyone will have their own journey during our time together, as we cover topics common to the human experience, and invite you to look more closely. We look, too. As the brilliant proverb reminds us: "No one can do it for you and you can't do it alone."

We welcome you to this community of spirit, for what always comes as a profound journey of renewal, awareness and enlightenment to What Is.

Our daily schedule all Pacific Time--all sessions recorded

  • SESSION ONE: 8:00am-10:30am Pacific Time/ 11am-1:30pm ET / 4:00pm-6:30pm UK/ 5:00pm-7:30pm Paris
  • BREAK: Midday Break 2.5 hours, Movement and Partner Work if you choose (we will assign a new partner every 24 hours). OK to opt-out.
  • SESSION TWO: 1:00pm-3:30pm Pacific Time/ 4:00pm-6:30pm ET/ 9pm-11:30pm UK/ Australia next morning

Partner pairing will be elective in between sessions, for those really wanting to stay deeply in The Work all day and remain active in inquiry. Highly recommended.

Everyone welcome from all time zones--we suggest you have some solid experience in The Work if you choose to attend partial sessions such as only mornings or only evenings. We highly recommend watching recordings if you must miss, in the order they are presented, to stay in the flow of the process unfolding with everyone.

To enroll, we suggest $395-$895 for the whole retreat, and we set this up as pay-from-the-heart so you may contribute as needed based on your situation (with the minimum set at $395). Sustainable rate to cover all expenses and time is $525.

Click the button below and when you are at the PAYMENT PAGE please enter the total number of dollars you will contribute. Tom and Grace will be sharing the proceeds equally after expenses and we'll both be with you every step of the way as co-pilots. Both bring years of experience and different qualities to the group, and both of us run independent private practices in this work in our day-to-day lives. We love coming together a couple of times each year, it seems, to celebrate the wonder of working with friends and sharing our journeys with you.

We love that you are here.

"A profound experience. I thought Grace and Tom had worked together for years, my jaw dropped when I found out this was the first time. They are a brilliant balance of love and truly compliment each other. The pace seamlessly flowed between them and whatever happened next. I can't thank them both enough for what they offered, and what I found." ~ Summer 2019 at Breitenbush in-person retreat.

"I don't know what it is, but these two together are offering some kind of magic. Two experienced facilitators working with the group at the same time was a wonder to behold--each bringing a different flavor to the pot. All I can say is, it worked. It really, really worked." Online Participant

"I enjoyed the contrast in style of Grace and Tom facilitating The Work. Both very skilled and steadfast."

"I appreciated the repeated patient reminders to allow not-knowing. And how both Grace and Tom are so skillful in guiding us through turnarounds---there are many possibilities I feel able to consider (or at least for now, consider considering!) at the end of the retreat that I wasn't open to last week. Thank you, thank you."

"Grace and Tom each bring immense skill, patience, compassion and humor that enables 'hard,' challenging issues to be examined without paralyzing fear. Wonderful companions!" ~ June 2021

"Grace and Tom worked well together, both so attentive. Different approaches lent different light on The Work. Both of them just holding the space, so beautiful and powerful."

"I appreciated Tom's steady, patient, sometimes humorous doggedness, the wise experience, and even the slight bite of Tom's facilitating, like a sheepdog always keeping the straying mind herded into the pool pocket of letting go and becoming simply present. I appreciated Grace's quiet, thoughtful, honest, self -reflective drawing people in to look with such a sense of safety and acceptance of who we are. All of this goodness happened for me each day of this workshop and with each partner I had."

"Tom and Grace, you worked BENEVOLENTLY together like a double whammy! IT WAS AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAZING to see one take off where another left off and vica versa. YOU HELD an INCREDIBLY welcoming safe space for me and ALLOWED and encouraged me to be however I was wherever I was and there ALWAYS felt like there was space and enough time to get it all done." ~ June 2021

"This was better than I ever imagined. From the ease of technology and emails, to the support behind the scenes to the way the overall flow of the program was managed, and that's not even the content itself of inquiry facilitated beautifully between these's the best online virtual program I have taken.~ Online Participant